perjantai 11. marraskuuta 2011

About days of hurry

Hey!

Like you might realize from the title, I've been in a kind of hurry. I touched the subject in my last post, but this time... it's personal. Our school started slow (like they usually do), but suddenly all the deadlines have gathered at the end of the year. My room mate said, that's the way it goes in the biz: plenty of time, and then suddenly, deadly hurry.

We're finishing our scripts. My partner and I have spent so much time with ours. Never have I spent about 10 hours of work into one A4-sized piece of paper. But it has been worth it. Deadline for the "first final" version is real soon. The deadline for the "final final" version is a week from that. Out of 11 different scripts, 3 will be filmed. The winners will be decided by voting. Democracy isn't the best way to determine the best script, but it's the most fair, I think. I hope our script is good and appealing enough.

Also I have an essay to write, about alternative screenwriting. According to feedback I received from my unfinished essay, I still have a lot of work to do. Too complicated sentences, and so forth. And I have only written 5 of 10 pages required. It's a slow work indeed. A week for writing and perfecting. Great...

Deadline for our silent film is also approaching. Not sure when it exactly is, though. But I sure am satisfied that I started editing it weeks ago. It's almost ready. It pays to be pro-active, or something.
Lots of tests also. Math and economics...! Oh boy. And our 30-40 minute presentation about the visual composition of Fisher King is not going anywhere.

I'm itching to start with our own projects, but it has to wait. And I'd like to have a life outside of school. To start fitness boxing. To upkeep my relationships. To improve my guitar techniques. To civilize myself by watching classic movies. To play video games (and I have a lot of 'em to play...).

Also outside of school, I have a camp to plan. I'm a part of group that has to plan and make seven day camp for about twenty people. It's kind of "camp 2.0" as all the attendees have already been in one or two. So... We have to make a better and fresher experience than those they've witnessed before. I volunteered for the job and I'm excited and intrigued by it and the challenges it poses, but still. I have a fine line to walk between focusing on my studies and focusing on the camp. I want to neglect neither.

Nevertheless, the stress is killing me.

J.

Catchy song from one of the best movies I've seen in the last few years. A whole hearted recommendation.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DSVDcw6iW8

torstai 27. lokakuuta 2011

About home and other stuff too

Heyo!

Last week I had holidays all week. I finally got to travel to Helsinki (with a trip through Tampere and Turku first) to meet my buddies. It had been two months since I last stayed there. I had planned to visit Helsinki more often, but an excuse and so on.
So I spent all week with my friends and I liked it very much :). I also shared some quality time with my one and only electric guitar and watched awesome flick called "Drive". It used a lot of techniques I'd like to use if I'd ever make a movie. Like telling a story without much dialogue.

After that truly enjoyable week, as I returned to Virrat, it actually felt more like homecoming than my trip to Helsinki, to the city where I have lived for almost twenty years, almost my whole life. Weird.
Perhaps Virrat has grown to me more than I realize. And I've always adapted to new fast.

Still I asked myself; what is home?
My pal suggested a more subjective answer: home is wherever one feels it is. True, but a bit obvious too.
I myself thought that home is a place where a human being "becomes" herself.
This leads to conclusion that in Virrat I have already become something and I continue to transform. And that sounds about right.
Like U2 puts it in a song of theirs:
"House doesn't make a home".

Random notes:

* We have to make a 40 minute presentation about composition of the movie "Fisher King" by Terry Gilliam. Not too bad, but I would have rather watched "Raging Bull".
* Also in the making is a 10 page essay about alternative screenwriting.
* And a list of scenes of our first screenplay of which we have already made a synopsis.
* And our group has a growing interest of start working with our own off-school projects.
* So yeah, a lot of stuff goin' on, and a lot more I can't write about now.
* I dyed my hair last week, for the first time in my life. Now it's once again this weird reddish colour.
* I cut my own hair. It shows.
* I also took two new piercings to my ears. I like 'em very much.
* At last I have a working television in the house. Not that I have watched it.
(I had a two month break from television before I traveled to Helsinki. When at home I opened it up to watch something while eating. I closed it after 15 minutes and noted to myself: "still nothing")
* I attended to a Halloween-party last night. Good times, conquering the dance floor dressed as a Nazi officer.
* Weather's cold 'n wet here... :(

That's it for now.

J

I have listened a lot The National for a while now. Perhaps it's a phase. A kind of phase were you listen to music about (as pastemagazine.com puts it) "the search of love, continually increasing paranoia, fractured relationships, the deterioration of youthful innocence and a generally bittersweet world", all the while being happy yourself.
Or I'm just a melancholic person.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KehwyWmXr3U

keskiviikko 12. lokakuuta 2011

About gender in film

G'day!

This could appear to you as a bit of odd post. A mixture of societal anger and philosophical curiosity. But sometimes I think stuff like this and my blog is about 50% about stuff I think about (3 abouts in one sentence! Success!), the other 50% being about stuff that happens to me. So... Expect more of these sometime in the future.

This is going to be a difficult subject to handle. After all: we are raised into our genders since childhood and it's perhaps one of the strongest identification points in ourselves.
Anyway, I'm just going to scratch the surface here. Gender roles go way back and I'm not really a professional in this. But... the subject came up today and I feel like talking of it. Even though I have talked about it many times before. Perhaps I write more about it someday.

People are different and unique in their own right and regardless of the gender. However it seems that men have much broader scale to express themselves within. This is best exemplified by how women are represented in films.
A few months back I was attending to a lecture about film industry and its relation to other aspects of culture. One of those other aspects was gender. In films, most women fall into few categories:
(I can't remember them all now, but I'll update as soon as I get my hands on my notes)
1. The Love Interest / The Sex Object
2. The Femme Fatale
3. The Loving and Wise Mother
4. The Innocent Child / The Cutie
5. The Big Momma

Of course there are exceptions, like Sarah Connor in Terminator or Ellen Ripley in Alien. But could we categorize all the male roles in films into 4-7 roles? I doubt it. We'd need about 20, at least.
Let's try. Here's all the roles for men I care to remember at the moment.

1. The Heroic Hero
2. The Tragic Hero
3. The Villain
4. The Comic Relief
5. The Boss
6. The Traitor
7. The Coward
8. The Mastermind / The Scientist
9. The Brawn
10. The Mentor
11. The Rival
12. The Father
13. The Ladies Man
14. The Smart Mouth Kid
...
And so forth.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jpmoore/men-ups-manly-men-in-classic-pin-up-poses

Rise to equality is difficult process. To overcome old societal differences between genders while minding the genetic differences. To achieve this we should pay more attention to the ways society subconsciously alters our perception of men and women. Like the roles women play to us and how they are represented. These are in a way more dangerous differences than the more tangible ones, because our "defenses" aren't up. We take it as it is.

When I studied to matriculation examination I read a comic book about philosophers. I liked it. But the ending was truly surprising. The book basically said that everything you've read so far has been from the perspective of men. Almost all great philosophers are men, they inspected the world from their manly point of view, and some of them even disliked women and doubted their intellectual ability. There have been great female thinkers as well, but they have been knowingly pushed aside by their male counterparts. So, congratulations! You've read a comic book about philosophers of history, but know shit as all of it is compromised by peers and historians lynching the thinkers representing the other 50% of the people because of their gender.

I fucking loved the ending.

J

A lovely song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj5RUNLQBQE

sunnuntai 25. syyskuuta 2011

About black and white pictures

Hello there (again)!

I borrowed two books from a local library. One is about alternative scriptwriting (which is damn interesting) and the other about photographing. I realized that my camera can do good enough video picture (HD!). Thus I have regained my interest in photographing, and I planned to walk around my new home town and experiment with low-key, black and white -pictures. For our film noir -project, you know (although I suspect I'll spend most of my time in front of camera in that one, but we'll see). 
But I found out that Virrat isn't particularly picturesque, so I just ended up modifying my old photographs into low-key B&W. 
All the pictures are from Helsinki. Most of them are from spring, some a few years old. I meant to have them hang on my wall, next to the Moomin-cards, but haven't printed them out yet, if ever. 

Click 'em to make 'em bigger. 



Gloomy... I've always liked silhouettes. 




I had several photos about puddles and reflections. I like the trees on the reflection. Looks blurrier than is. 

I like how flowers look like butterflies and birds in this pic. It's a little off, but I like it nevertheless. 


Nice display of different textures that B&W brings. 

Gotta love the sky!

Textures once again. You can almost feel them. 


No idea what's floating in the air here



Water looks always nice in B&W. 



Let's end this with color-pic or two. 



I love the space of this photo. 

I had something else to write about, but I've forgotten it... Typical.
Let's call it a day. Until next time!

J

I will be playing this one by myself shortly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhmmedScLmY&feature=related

perjantai 23. syyskuuta 2011

About school

Hello there! 

Well. School truly started this week. Finally! Now we're getting our hands dirty! 
First, we have a deadline for our first scripts. It's two weeks from now! Thankfully, that's the deadline for a synopsis of the script and not for the finished product. My partner and I already have a basic idea to work with and to craft into a solid piece of script. Hard work ahead. 
The script will be rewritten several times and thoroughly criticized and only the best will be filmed. A not-so-slight pressure (for a first script in the school), but our careers afterwards are likely to mimic that. (Ok, yeah, sure, we did kind write script for our silent film, but it's a project for our "camera and lighting" -classes, not for our "dramaturgy and screenwriting" -classes, like this one. )
But that's fine.  

Teacher also laid out certain restrictions. Plenty of my ideas are outside of those rules. Rules like: 
* Only basic drama
* Characters of your age
* No weapons, blood, horror etc. 
* More than just dialog
* Doable with our resources (naturally!)
* Running time around five minutes
Basic drama sounds boresome, doesn't it? With minimal ambition and experimenting...! 
Rational rules nevertheless. Perhaps it's best like this. To write as basic story as possible, but still make it work. 
My pals and I are planning sort of film noir -film, and I would've liked to screenwrite that idea, but it won't unfortunately do. We're still doing it, but now it's during our free time.  
Earlier, we also planned of making this "poetry video" and enter into a competition with it, but it seems now that we won't meet the deadline. A shame. We had good ideas for it. 

More news! Yesterday we finished shooting our silent film, "Exodus"! Shooting took place over three days and lasted overall about seven hours. A lot, when considered that the finished work will last no more than 5 minutes. Things take time, and it's even more true when you do those things for the first time. Sure we messed up a bit, but there could've been a lot more confusion and chaos than there was. So, in the end, we did well. 
We were the first ones to finish filming, or to start it. Other groups have barely a script yet. I sure hope that doesn't mean that we were somehow too hasty and not careful and thorough enough. 
There's still editing left to do. My favorite part :). Other members of the group agreed to let me do the most part of it, and I shall start next week. 

As the length of this post grew and grew, I decided to split my text in half and release the other part about other stuff soon. 
So that's for now. Expect more in a few days. 

J

Have you heard? R.E.M. split up. I wasn't their #1 fan, but it's unfortunate nevertheless. But it's better to stop while you're still on the top. 
I listened this track a lot when I studied to my matriculation examinations and had the phrase
"Every day is new again, every day is yours to win. And that's how heroes are made" as my wallpaper at that time. It's kinda comforting. 

maanantai 12. syyskuuta 2011

About love and fear

"Somehow all you ever need, is never really quite enough"
- Bruce Springsteen

I recently tried to write a blog entry about desire, one that's still halfway finished. 
Drive to write of the subject came from Buddhist principle about dangers of craving. I somewhat try to follow Buddhist way of life, but the thing about not-wanting, is really hard to pull off. 
I want stuff. Not really material sort of stuff. More like, to be best I can be. And to be good. And everyone wants to be loved. Everyone. 
Some Buddhist sects doubt all-powerful love, and say it could and should be replaced with compassion and understanding instead. Or to be more precise, they have a different kind of love. Love that's about wanting others to be happy. I think it's indeed closer to compassion than love as we think it.
You see, "our love" is always a bit selfish and attaching. And that's really bad, those Buddhists think. If you think about yourself and feelings you have, you fail to realize what's best for all, and do that, especially if the right choice causes you sorrow. 
There's a grain of truth in there, but I can't fully agree, mostly because I can't do it. I need love. Love can be healing. 
Also when in love, you desire. We crave true love, one that responds to our emotions. Everyone wants to be loved, and when you are in love yourself, you want it more than anything. 

So, we've discussed about love. Right about here, we come to the second part of the subject in hand: "fear".
Even if you are loved now, you want to be loved in the future as well... Right? 
Some artists sing that deep, deep within every relationship is a fear of it ending. Isn't there an ending behind every beginning? 
We all have been afraid of it, perhaps just during some sleepless nights. 
Who hasn't asked "do you love me"? Who hasn't said "I love you" just to hear "I love you too"? 
After all, all relationships do end, some sooner than later. And it hurts. Who doesn't want to avoid pain? 
With love eventually comes desire to keep it, for it to be yours. With love eventually comes fear. And it's not just romantic love. What mother isn't afraid for her child?
We enjoy the feeling and the moment so much, that we are afraid of change. I myself am unwilling to take risks when there's important emotions at stake. We hold hands, so that the other doesn't slip away (of course, the touch is nice too). But change always comes, whether slow or fast, good or bad. That's why Buddhist say not to cling into moments, not to crave them. "To suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune". 
Some people are afraid of sacrificing too much in the altar of love, to commit. Some people could be afraid of love not being enough. Sometimes it isn't, like Bruce above says. Sometimes times are too hard.
But that's another story. 

You just have to learn to live with the fear, I guess, love yourself even if others do not. One of my favorite quotes of all time is from John Wayne: 
"Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway". 
Quite often love is worth the dread. 

I've tried to write a more thoughtful text for a few times, and now I've done it, and not for the last time. 
Yes! 

Other news, our 3-man group's silent film is getting along. We'll most likely start shooting this week, after we're done with the final script.
School's still very enjoyable. We practiced with cameras and lights today and continue on Thursday. Some classes of this period are still yet to come, like "basics of sound" and "dramaturgy of space and color". Latter sounds awesome.
Every Monday students of our school can go to nearby gym for free! I was there today for a second time, and my muscles ache. Which is only good, as my exercising was a bit lacking during the summer time. I long for a bit of krav maga here, but no, alas! Thankfully I have my training-book, if I only managed to work out accordingly...
I received an offer from a friend to cook for a camp later this year. I've cooked in a camp before and I liked it very much, but what's troubling me, is my hardly average cooking here. Sure, I can eat it, and my foods are cheap and healthy-ish, but they're not that tasty. Then again, I haven't looked at recipes that much. I probably should. 

J. 

Gotta love the intro! Song's beautiful too, and for once, it fits the theme! 

keskiviikko 7. syyskuuta 2011

About my new home and other stuff too

Hello there!

It's been about two weeks since my last entry. During that time I started writing five different texts for my next blog, and finished none. One in particular I wrote about five hours, and rewrote it three times, and I still have lots of work to do on that one... That's what you get for being a philosophy-writing perfectionist. But yeah, I try to write more often.

Anyway... Today I'm writing about my new home/apartment here in Virrat (and about other stuff too).
Like most other students, I live in student dormitory that's right next to the school itself. When I say "right next to", I truly mean it: My school trip takes now approximately fifteen seconds. During high school it took over 40 minutes, so I'm glad.
My apartment is quite decent place to live. Rent is low, it takes only around 30% of my student allowance (if it would only arrive to my bank account...!), with electricity, water, heat and internet connection included in it. Thus I most likely have little more than some surplus every month. Not sure yet, as I'm intent on visiting my friends and family in Helsinki and Tampere sometimes, and travelling is unfortunately expensive. But I keep close track of my economy and all my expenses, so I'll know soon enough.
I share my apartment with another student, who's a nice guy, thankfully. I was a bit worried of moving in with some unknown fellow, but in the end, there was nothing to worry about :)

My moomin cards :). Cute chaos on my wall. 


About other stuff. I'm currently sick, again... Well, at least I have plenty of time to do my chores and homework. Just played "Supermassive Black Hole" a few times with my guitar, and it worked quite well. I'm likely to spend a lot more time today with my lovely guitars.
School is awesome. Screenwriting classes are full of fun and insights. We'll begin making our silent films soon, and our group has already a basic script to work with. It will be good. Can't wait until we get to film it!
Sense of community within our class is rising! That's so great!
I watched "First Blood" yesterday, which was even better than I remembered. I''ll watch another flick today. Options are "Requiem for a Dream", "Magnolia" or "Pi". Or then I just play Dragon Age and Devil May Cry 3.
Also I tried to re-read my childhood favorite "Dark Elf" -trilogy, but it was so bad compared to Martin's books, so I couldn't. So now I'm reading "A Short History of Nearly Everything", again. Life's just too fascinating.

I also received a post card from my ex-girlfriend today. The trick is, when she sent it to me, she was my current girlfriend, but the post card took six months to arrive and we managed to break up during that time. It's sorrowful to receive words of attachment that were true when they were written, but when I finally read them, they were nothing but false. But that's life, I guess. Lovers come and lovers go.

See you soon

J.

Sometimes bands end awesome albums with short and minimal songs.
Here's the last song of "Strangeways, Here We Come". Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWGrN5c91BA