About black and white pictures

Hello there (again)!

I borrowed two books from a local library. One is about alternative scriptwriting (which is damn interesting) and the other about photographing. I realized that my camera can do good enough video picture (HD!). Thus I have regained my interest in photographing, and I planned to walk around my new home town and experiment with low-key, black and white -pictures. For our film noir -project, you know (although I suspect I'll spend most of my time in front of camera in that one, but we'll see). 

But I found out that Virrat isn't particularly picturesque, so I just ended up modifying my old photographs into low-key B&W. 

All the pictures are from Helsinki. Most of them are from spring, some a few years old. I meant to have them hang on my wall, next to the Moomin-cards, but haven't printed them out yet, if ever. 

Click 'em to make 'em bigger. 

Gloomy... I've always liked silhouettes. 

I had several photos about puddles and reflections. I like the trees on the reflection. Looks blurrier than is. 

I like how flowers look like butterflies and birds in this pic. It's a little off, but I like it nevertheless. 

Nice display of different textures that B&W brings. 

Gotta love the sky!

Textures once again. You can almost feel them. 

No idea what's floating in the air here

Water looks always nice in B&W. 

Let's end this with color-pic or two. 

I love the space of this photo. 

I had something else to write about, but I've forgotten it... Typical.
Let's call it a day. Until next time!

J

I will be playing this one by myself shortly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhmmedScLmY&feature=related

About school

Hello there! 

Well. School truly started this week. Finally! Now we're getting our hands dirty! 

First, we have a deadline for our first scripts. It's two weeks from now! Thankfully, that's the deadline for a synopsis of the script and not for the finished product. My partner and I already have a basic idea to work with and to craft into a solid piece of script. Hard work ahead. 

The script will be rewritten several times and thoroughly criticized and only the best will be filmed. A not-so-slight pressure (for a first script in the school), but our careers afterwards are likely to mimic that. (Ok, yeah, sure, we did kind write script for our silent film, but it's a project for our "camera and lighting" -classes, not for our "dramaturgy and screenwriting" -classes, like this one. )

But that's fine.  

Teacher also laid out certain restrictions. Plenty of my ideas are outside of those rules. Rules like: 

* Only basic drama

* Characters of your age

* No weapons, blood, horror etc. 

* More than just dialog

* Doable with our resources (naturally!)

* Running time around five minutes

Basic drama sounds boresome, doesn't it? With minimal ambition and experimenting...! 

Rational rules nevertheless. Perhaps it's best like this. To write as basic story as possible, but still make it work. 

My pals and I are planning sort of film noir -film, and I would've liked to screenwrite that idea, but it won't unfortunately do. We're still doing it, but now it's during our free time.  

Earlier, we also planned of making this "poetry video" and enter into a competition with it, but it seems now that we won't meet the deadline. A shame. We had good ideas for it. 

More news! Yesterday we finished shooting our silent film, "Exodus"! Shooting took place over three days and lasted overall about seven hours. A lot, when considered that the finished work will last no more than 5 minutes. Things take time, and it's even more true when you do those things for the first time. Sure we messed up a bit, but there could've been a lot more confusion and chaos than there was. So, in the end, we did well. 

We were the first ones to finish filming, or to start it. Other groups have barely a script yet. I sure hope that doesn't mean that we were somehow too hasty and not careful and thorough enough. 

There's still editing left to do. My favorite part :). Other members of the group agreed to let me do the most part of it, and I shall start next week. 

As the length of this post grew and grew, I decided to split my text in half and release the other part about other stuff soon. 

So that's for now. Expect more in a few days. 

J

Have you heard? R.E.M. split up. I wasn't their #1 fan, but it's unfortunate nevertheless. But it's better to stop while you're still on the top. 

I listened this track a lot when I studied to my matriculation examinations and had the phrase

"Every day is new again, every day is yours to win. And that's how heroes are made" as my wallpaper at that time. It's kinda comforting. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKJoX5YXs98&ob=av3e

About love and fear

"Somehow all you ever need, is never really quite enough"

- Bruce Springsteen

I recently tried to write a blog entry about desire, one that's still halfway finished. 

Drive to write of the subject came from Buddhist principle about dangers of craving. I somewhat try to follow Buddhist way of life, but the thing about not-wanting, is really hard to pull off. 

I want stuff. Not really material sort of stuff. More like, to be best I can be. And to be good. And everyone wants to be loved. Everyone. 

Some Buddhist sects doubt all-powerful love, and say it could and should be replaced with compassion and understanding instead. Or to be more precise, they have a different kind of love. Love that's about wanting others to be happy. I think it's indeed closer to compassion than love as we think it.
You see, "our love" is always a bit selfish and attaching. And that's really bad, those Buddhists think. If you think about yourself and feelings you have, you fail to realize what's best for all, and do that, especially if the right choice causes you sorrow. 

There's a grain of truth in there, but I can't fully agree, mostly because I can't do it. I need love. Love can be healing. 

Also when in love, you desire. We crave true love, one that responds to our emotions. Everyone wants to be loved, and when you are in love yourself, you want it more than anything. 

So, we've discussed about love. Right about here, we come to the second part of the subject in hand: "fear".
Even if you are loved now, you want to be loved in the future as well... Right? 

Some artists sing that deep, deep within every relationship is a fear of it ending. Isn't there an ending behind every beginning? 

We all have been afraid of it, perhaps just during some sleepless nights. 

Who hasn't asked "do you love me"? Who hasn't said "I love you" just to hear "I love you too"? 

After all, all relationships do end, some sooner than later. And it hurts. Who doesn't want to avoid pain? 

With love eventually comes desire to keep it, for it to be yours. With love eventually comes fear. And it's not just romantic love. What mother isn't afraid for her child?
We enjoy the feeling and the moment so much, that we are afraid of change. I myself am unwilling to take risks when there's important emotions at stake. We hold hands, so that the other doesn't slip away (of course, the touch is nice too). But change always comes, whether slow or fast, good or bad. That's why Buddhist say not to cling into moments, not to crave them. "To suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune". 

Some people are afraid of sacrificing too much in the altar of love, to commit. Some people could be afraid of love not being enough. Sometimes it isn't, like Bruce above says. Sometimes times are too hard.
But that's another story. 

You just have to learn to live with the fear, I guess, love yourself even if others do not. One of my favorite quotes of all time is from John Wayne: 

"Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway". 

Quite often love is worth the dread. 

I've tried to write a more thoughtful text for a few times, and now I've done it, and not for the last time. 

Yes! 

Other news, our 3-man group's silent film is getting along. We'll most likely start shooting this week, after we're done with the final script.
School's still very enjoyable. We practiced with cameras and lights today and continue on Thursday. Some classes of this period are still yet to come, like "basics of sound" and "dramaturgy of space and color". Latter sounds awesome.
Every Monday students of our school can go to nearby gym for free! I was there today for a second time, and my muscles ache. Which is only good, as my exercising was a bit lacking during the summer time. I long for a bit of krav maga here, but no, alas! Thankfully I have my training-book, if I only managed to work out accordingly...
I received an offer from a friend to cook for a camp later this year. I've cooked in a camp before and I liked it very much, but what's troubling me, is my hardly average cooking here. Sure, I can eat it, and my foods are cheap and healthy-ish, but they're not that tasty. Then again, I haven't looked at recipes that much. I probably should. 

J. 

Gotta love the intro! Song's beautiful too, and for once, it fits the theme! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Efg1h0EzLeE

About my new home and other stuff too

Hello there!

It's been about two weeks since my last entry. During that time I started writing five different texts for my next blog, and finished none. One in particular I wrote about five hours, and rewrote it three times, and I still have lots of work to do on that one... That's what you get for being a philosophy-writing perfectionist. But yeah, I try to write more often.

Anyway... Today I'm writing about my new home/apartment here in Virrat (and about other stuff too).
Like most other students, I live in student dormitory that's right next to the school itself. When I say "right next to", I truly mean it: My school trip takes now approximately fifteen seconds. During high school it took over 40 minutes, so I'm glad.
My apartment is quite decent place to live. Rent is low, it takes only around 30% of my student allowance (if it would only arrive to my bank account...!), with electricity, water, heat and internet connection included in it. Thus I most likely have little more than some surplus every month. Not sure yet, as I'm intent on visiting my friends and family in Helsinki and Tampere sometimes, and travelling is unfortunately expensive. But I keep close track of my economy and all my expenses, so I'll know soon enough.
I share my apartment with another student, who's a nice guy, thankfully. I was a bit worried of moving in with some unknown fellow, but in the end, there was nothing to worry about :)

My moomin cards :). Cute chaos on my wall. 

About other stuff. I'm currently sick, again... Well, at least I have plenty of time to do my chores and homework. Just played "Supermassive Black Hole" a few times with my guitar, and it worked quite well. I'm likely to spend a lot more time today with my lovely guitars.
School is awesome. Screenwriting classes are full of fun and insights. We'll begin making our silent films soon, and our group has already a basic script to work with. It will be good. Can't wait until we get to film it!
Sense of community within our class is rising! That's so great!
I watched "First Blood" yesterday, which was even better than I remembered. I''ll watch another flick today. Options are "Requiem for a Dream", "Magnolia" or "Pi". Or then I just play Dragon Age and Devil May Cry 3.
Also I tried to re-read my childhood favorite "Dark Elf" -trilogy, but it was so bad compared to Martin's books, so I couldn't. So now I'm reading "A Short History of Nearly Everything", again. Life's just too fascinating.

I also received a post card from my ex-girlfriend today. The trick is, when she sent it to me, she was my current girlfriend, but the post card took six months to arrive and we managed to break up during that time. It's sorrowful to receive words of attachment that were true when they were written, but when I finally read them, they were nothing but false. But that's life, I guess. Lovers come and lovers go.

See you soon

J.

Sometimes bands end awesome albums with short and minimal songs.
Here's the last song of "Strangeways, Here We Come". Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWGrN5c91BA